دار بيبليون
Fear: Queen of Emotions and Its Different Masks / Lecture by Lwiis Saliba on Zoom, Wednesday, June 18, 2025
In this lecture, we continue what we started in the previous lesson, on May 7, 2025, which focused on answering a fundamental and central question that has attracted the attention of many followers and viewers, namely: how to transform a meal into a meditation session. We draw inspiration in this presentation from two books. The first is a valuable work written by Karen Koenig, entitled “The Psychological Causes of Weight Gain” (translated into Arabic). Original title in English: “The Rules of Normal Eating.” And the second is one of our books entitled: “The Encyclopedia of Ayurveda.” The last point we covered in the previous lecture was the need to adopt an attitude of flexibility and adaptability toward our feelings and emotions: Experience them and let them fade, says Karen Koenig, who reminds us and emphasizes the need to observe our feelings and emotions without judging or condemning them (p. 195): “Refrain from judging your emotions, but rather show empathy and curiosity toward them.” This is what the wise Tenzin Palmo taught us, who constantly repeats this advice: “Relax and let your emotions and feelings surface, treat them with kindness, consider them like an annoying and boring neighbor. Instead of engaging in a futile argument that will only aggravate and multiply disagreements, and exhaust you unnecessarily, offer them a cup of coffee or tea, engage in dialogue with them, and listen to them.
Repressing fear transforms it into anger
This is what the wise Tenzin Palmo calls “dialogue with your emotions.” That is, first accepting the emotion, such as fear, for example, and acknowledging that we are afraid, then engaging in a kind dialogue with this fear: why is it visiting us? What motivates it? Tenzin Palmo adds: “Think of your fear as a patient in your office, give them the opportunity to speak, to express what they feel, and to explain why they are worried and afraid.”
This is simple advice, but essential, even valuable, and proven to be effective. It allows us to better understand ourselves and teaches us to listen to our innermost beings. On the other hand, refusing and repressing this fear makes it hiding behind another emotion, such as anger, which complicates matters further. This is precisely what Koenig says (p. 196): “If you identify your feelings as anger, dig deeper, because anger is usually a secondary emotion that masks, protects, or defends other emotions such as helplessness, fear, hurt, or abandonment.” It’s worth reflecting here on what we just mentioned about fear. It is indeed the emotion most adept at disguising and disguising itself, as it can present itself in many guises other than its true self, which it often manages to hide behind other masks such as anger, greed, avarice, or other negative feelings and emotions. Ayurveda, or Indian medicine, offers a clear and convincing explanation for this characteristic of fear, which hides beneath the veil of other negative emotions. According to Ayurveda, fear is the primary negative emotion of the Air or Wind temperament (Vata in Sanskrit). While anger is the primary negative emotion of the Fire or Pitta temperament, the primary negative emotion of the third and final temperament, the Water temperament, is greed and avarice.
The Air or Wind temperament (Vata, like air and wind) is invisible and manifests only through its actions. The main characteristic of the wind or air temperament is that it agitates the other humors, just as the wind agitates fire and makes it burn and ignite, and just as the wind agitates water and transforms it into crashing waves. In the same way, the air temperament Vata agitates the other two humors, the fire temperament Pitta and the water temperament Kapha.
According to Ayurveda, the air temperament is the most delicate and fragile. It is the first to lose its balance and can mimic the other temperaments, which can lead us to believe that Pitta and Kapha are disturbed and the source of a problem. While more than half of all physiological disorders have their origins in the wind, as Ayurvedic sources confirm, they attribute to Vata the title of King of the doshas (temperaments or humors). When the wind is in balance, its balance is automatically reflected in the other two humors. The Rig Veda, The oldest book in the world, says of the wind (Vayu): “His voice is audible, but his power is invisible,” and Sushruta, one of the great sages of Ayurveda, says about him: “He is imperceptible, invisible , indefinable, but visible through its actions” (Sutra 42/5).
Fear is an emotion that arises from and results from the Vata Wind temperament and possesses the various characteristics and peculiarities of that temperament. Like Vata, it is invisible and imperceptible, and can disguise itself, imitate, and reproduce other emotions such as anger, greed, or avarice. We then think, for example, that we are angry, when in reality, it is fear that motivates and arouses our anger. The same is true for greed, the love of possessions, and avarice, for it is often fear that motivates and exacerbates these negative emotions. We can therefore say of fear what Ayurveda says of Vata: fear is the queen of emotions. When we restore the lost balance of this negative emotion and thus reduce its intensity, this balance of fear automatically affects the other two emotions: anger and greed. Hence the importance and necessity of constantly working on fear, and of ensuring that we do not disturb the balance of this emotion, which is deeply rooted in the human brain, inherited from our ancestors in their relentless struggle for life and survival.
This brings us back to what author Karen Koenig says about her recommendation not to resist emotions (p. 197): “Gently remove your resistance to these emotions, accept the fact that they are visiting you, welcome them (…) and let them take their time until they fade, remembering that they will eventually fade.”
This empirical and experimental certainty about the fleeting and momentary nature of negative emotions is fundamental and extremely important for learning to manage them well. Indeed, by resisting these feelings, rejecting them, and pushing them away, we only exacerbate and aggravate them, and give them a bouncy character, whereas simply observing them consciously and attentively, without following them or being carried away by them, contributes to their ebb, just as waves inevitably recede after hitting the rocks on the shore.
Learn to Listen to the Body’s Signals
The main objective of this simplified presentation of emotion management remains to refute the arguments of emotional eating advocates. In this regard, Koenig concludes and states (p. 200): “Your life will improve radically and automatically if you stop taking refuge in food to escape your psychological disorders.”
His presentation, although lengthy and full of psychological details, remains coherent and logical and shows that human mental and physical health are interdependent and cannot be separated or reified. The author emphasizes one point, which she summarizes in the following sentence (p. 136): “I can teach my body to give me, at the right time, the signal to eat or to stop eating.”
This is advice given by the Sage Tenzin Palmo herself: “learn to listen to your body, to observe its sensations and to understand how you experience the different emotions in your body.”
It is in the body’s nature and good habits, even its instinct, to send signals of hunger and satiety. However, with our gluttony and our cravings for food, we ignore these signals, thus disrupting our innate ability to listen and follow them. The result is then inevitable, and Koenig summarizes it thus (p. 126): “It is the fact of not listening to the signals that my body sends me concerning hunger, satiety or fullness that will make me gain weight.”
Listening requires silence and vigilance, and someone who devours their meal while their attention is distracted by various things, such as listening to a conversation, participating in a heated discussion, or watching television, will not be able to listen to their body’s signals. Koenig reaffirms the importance and necessity of this listening, which she associates with a simple philosophy of eating and the need to enjoy it (p. 137): “A natural relationship with food consists of listening to your body’s signals and making the right choices. This relationship is also focused on pleasure, satisfaction, satiety, self-confidence, and, above all, the joy of eating.”
What we can add here to Koenig’s words is that savoring food requires attention. We often eat without appreciating our food, or even savoring it, because we are preoccupied with other things! The Basics of a Healthy Diet
One of the foundations of Karen Koenig’s food philosophy (p. 125) is this: “No food can be called good or bad. But we can label any food with one of two adjectives: healthy or unhealthy.” This observation seems relevant, as we were raised in the Middle East, with respect for food, which is considered a gift from God, and it is therefore not correct to call it bad. In India, they go even further by saying that “Food is God,” food is God, because it is a precious gift from Him, and there is no life without it.
Koenig offers several useful tips within his general motto (p. 222): “Always remember that it is how you eat that matters, not how much.”
From these many tips, we have selected the following:
1- “Stay attentive to the sensations in your body while eating and avoid any form of tension during the meal” (p. 211). In Lebanese, we literally say of food, “It went down like poison into my stomach.” This is true when eating in a state of anger, annoyance, or sadness. 2-Eat slowly and in small bites, and after every 3 or 4 bites, stop for a moment and contemplate your food, observe what remains, and ask yourself whether you are enjoying your meal or not, then look for the reason. (pp. 221-222).
3-While eating, close your eyes occasionally and focus on your mouth and the path the food takes to reach your stomach. (p. 222).
4-When you swallow what is in your mouth, take three deep breaths and exhale deeply (long exhalation) to show that you are enjoying your meal. Otherwise, why eat if you are not enjoying it? (p. 222).
5-Observe your body for signs of tension or discomfort as you begin to eat. Repeat this process once or twice during the meal. If you notice tension, stop eating immediately and relax the tense area until the tension disappears, then continue eating. (p. 222)
6-Practice eating without distractions, even if only once a day. This practice accelerates the reestablishment of the connection between food and your body. This means no television, no radio, no phone, or anything else like reading or the internet. Nothing should distract you while you eat. (p. 221)
7-Be careful not to be distracted by what others are eating or saying, and don’t worry about things other than food, such as work or anything else. (p. 211)
Author Koenig emphasizes the need for perseverance and patience, as you can’t change your eating habits “with a click of a mouse,” especially since habits are second nature. She says (p. 145): “Reaffirm once again that change won’t happen overnight, and remember what you’ve learned about change: it’s cumulative and slow.”
Changing our eating habits changes our entire lives.
Indeed, the natural way of eating isn’t just a way of eating; it’s also a way of living, a way of seeing things, and a belief (p. 146): “The bottom line is that changing your eating pattern goes beyond simply changing your relationship with food; it will change many aspects of your life. Changing your eating pattern will improve every detail of your life, every minute of your existence. So, take courage and go for it.”
This issue, of course, deserves effort, attention, and time, because it concerns human health, which is our most precious asset. There are still many comments to be made about this book, whose premise is simple: adopting a natural diet has an impact on health. Does this simple and important principle really require all these explanations to fill the 335 pages of Koenig’s book?
There’s no doubt that there’s a lot of chatter, boredom, and irrelevant details!
Furthermore, the author also overlooks many unhealthy eating habits, particularly foods rich in white toxins: sugar, salt, milk, and white flour. Can a natural diet alone protect a person from the harmful effects and negative consequences of these foods?!
In our opinion, the author’s suggestion remains important, but it is not sufficient in itself and must be supplemented with some medical advice from Naturopathy and Ayurveda.