دار بيبليون
How to Turn a Meal into a Meditation? Yoga and Contemporary Psychology Advice, Lecture by Lwiis Saliba on Zoom, Wednesday, May 7, 2025
Psychological Causes of Weight Gain
This lecture is broadly inspired by a valuable book by Karen Koenig, whose title, translated into French, is “The Psychological Causes of Weight Gain.” (Original English Title: The Rules of Normal Eating).
The natural model contradicts the compulsive, emotional, and restrictive models.
In this voluminous book, the author starts from two scientific facts:
1-98% of dieters regain weight in the future and return to their pre-diet weight.
2-The idea of following a strict diet is not only ridiculous, but also emotionally dangerous and destructive to health.
But what is the alternative? Koenig draws on her personal experience, as well as her expertise as a psychotherapist and nutritionist. She advocates what she calls the “natural eating pattern,” as opposed to:
1- the compulsive pattern: those who eat voraciously and mindlessly,
2- the emotional pattern: those who turn to food whenever they feel upset or uncomfortable,
3- the restrictive pattern: people who follow strict diets. (pp. 20-21)
In response to people of the first type, that is, the compulsive type, she says (p. 128): “I must think about the food I eat and listen to my body while eating, because food can only be harmful if I eat it unconsciously and eat beyond the limits of satiety and sufficiency.” In response to followers of the restrictive style, she states (p. 128): “Abstaining from food, or eating insufficient food, is an unhealthy way to achieve a slim body.”
Unpleasant feelings do not disappear with eating!
As for those who adopt the emotional model, she simplifies her response by stating (pp. 129-130): “Eating is an ineffective way to deal with emotional pain or psychological discomfort, and the emotional or sentimental void cannot be filled with food.” She adds, explaining and warning those who follow the emotional model (p. 156): “Remember that disturbing feelings do not disappear with eating or participating in activities; they simply hide. When these disturbing feelings reappear, you will feel disappointed, sad, and afraid. But you must remember what you know well: it is normal for the feelings hidden behind the activity to reappear within you.” »
Because she is primarily a psychotherapist and follows the school of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), the principles of which we have discussed several times, the author focuses extensively on negative emotions and feelings, explaining, advising, and describing effective, successful, and proven methods for dealing with them. The first thing you notice (p. 162): “The primary reason you have trouble accepting uncomfortable feelings is that you are programmed to be attracted to pleasure and to move away from pain.”
Being aware of our desires and detaching ourselves from them.
This programming is obvious, but we rarely notice it. We often, if not always, run away from suffering and pain, but instead run toward it, as yoga says. Because running away is useless in this case, and “caution is useless in repelling fate,” says the old Arabic proverb. In this regard, author Koenig notes (p. 177): “When we stop trying to escape our emotional pain, we will be able to control it, instead of letting it control us.” Here, the author quotes British psychoanalyst and psychiatrist R. Dr. Ronald David Laing (July 10, 1927–March 8, 1989) who said: “The scope for pain is vast in a human being’s life, and perhaps the only pain that can be avoided is the pain of the futile attempt to avoid pain.” Because the cognitive-behavioral school is very close to Buddhist psychology and draws inspiration from it in many of her treatments, the author cites it several times. In this specific context, she quotes it (p. 178): “Buddhism asserts that one way to reduce suffering is to become aware of our desires and detach ourselves from them. We can decide what we desire and, consequently, the intensity of our suffering.”
The Importance of Equanimity and Tolerance of Negative Emotions
Here, Koenig establishes a link between feelings and emotions, particularly negative ones, and the most effective way to manage them, as well as the impact of all this on a person’s relationship with food and their health in particular (pp. 188-189): “Emotional balance and the wise management of feelings mean being equally tolerant of good and bad feelings, and accept them equally.” This is what Buddhism specifically calls Equanimity and Balance. The author continues: “Pain and pleasure are integral parts of life, and we must accept them both to live a healthy life and to keep our relationship with food undisturbed! Sometimes the only way to escape pain is to accept it and reconcile with it.”
In fact, our rejection of pain often increases it, because resisting something nourishes. This does not mean at all that we should refrain from seeking treatment and healing, but as the sage Tenzin Palmo rightly taught: when pain is unavoidable, it must be accepted, and reconciling with it is a fundamental teaching of Buddhism.
Koenig continues (p. 190): “Feelings are not facts, so I can change them by changing my beliefs. Learning to manage my emotions takes time, skill, practice, patience, and self-compassion.”
Emotional Resilience: Experience Emotions and Let Them Pass
Buddhist sages have always said: “Be compassionate to all people without forgetting yourself.” In her account of feelings and emotions, the author draws on Buddhist psychology, which recommends that they are thoughts and that, no matter how violent, they must eventually subside. This is the law of perpetual change, Anicca, which Buddhism speaks of and describes in detail. Koenig says (p. 193): “The best thing to do when faced with a particular feeling is often to do nothing at all. The goal is to learn to experience one’s emotions, that is, to acknowledge them, and then to let them pass (…). Emotions arise and disappear, they rise and fade. The only thing we can do is open ourselves to their movement, which is the flow of these emotions. This flexibility in the face of emotions can be very difficult if we belong to a culture of reaction, that is, of immediately seeking a solution to the problem.”
The Buddha said: “Respond and do not react.” What the author calls openness to the flow of emotions is summed up by the rule of the Buddhist sage Ji Qong: “Face, relax, and find a new point of balance.”
Koenig reminds us that feelings and emotions should be observed, but not judged or condemned (p. 195): “Refrain from judging your feelings and replace that judgment with empathy and curiosity.”