دار بيبليون
How to control our emotions/ VisioConference by Lwiis Saliba on Zoom, Wednesday January 22, 2025
The first and obvious question that we have been asking ourselves since the dawn of time and that we still ask ourselves today is the following: Is it possible for man to control his emotions, especially since some researchers consider that emotions are synonymous with birth instincts!
Some psychologists have emphasized the impossibility of controlling our emotions, especially since most of them come from the subconscious. Or, in more modern terms, most of the most influential and dangerous emotions come from the reptilian brain that Homo Sapiens inherited from his ancestors. Hence their decisive impact on his behavior and actions, which is difficult, if not impossible, to overcome.
Yet, there are many reasons to want to control your various emotions, be it anger, resentment, indignation, sadness, fear or others.
A little note about resentment: people say that it is the root cause of many chronic diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure etc. And maybe they are not wrong. Ma Annanda Mayi, the famous Indian Guru considered resentment as a deadly poison that kills the body and soul. She advises: “Whenever you feel resentment, or feel hurt, spit out that feeling like a poison” (Saliba, Lwiis, Silence in Hinduism, p83).
There is no doubt that controlling emotions requires a lot of effort, but it is not impossible. The direct answer offered by yoga and spiritual psychology is positive: Yes, it is possible to regulate and control your emotions, although it requires continuous effort and constant attention. This is what the blessed Gautama Buddha emphasized, for example, when asked what was the criterion for knowing if we are truly evolving spiritually, he answered simply and clearly:
“One knows that one is making spiritual progress when one has less anger, greed, and ignorance.”
But, as has already been pointed out, controlling emotions requires a great deal of self-control and restraint, and by controlling our emotions, we can directly see their impact on our lives. In one of our interviews with Tenzin Palmo, she said on this subject: “We can certainly replace negative emotions with positive emotions. It is not by suppressing these negative emotions, nor by pretending that we do not feel greedy or angry. We must realize that when negative emotions arise, we have the choice to feed them or transform them. Often, we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by emotions and, before we know it, we are drowning in them. But we can look at these emotions and let them go. We have a choice. So we learn to tame and transform the mind. Eventually, we transform and transcend the conventional mind.”
Psychologists generally believe that human beings are made up of emotions, behaviors, and thoughts that define who they are, and one of the hallmarks of mental health is being able to manage these emotions and have emotional stability and the ability to control emotions of sadness and joy and others.
Of course, this task requires training and learning, because our emotions are instinctive and cannot be prevented or suppressed, and our initial reactions can be uncontrollable. However, it is important to understand that repressing emotions will inevitably make them worse. The first step on the right path is to accept yourself as you are, with the intention of working towards change, which requires patience, practice, and long-suffering. Gautama Buddha said: “Patience is a most difficult discipline. But it is he who is patient who wins the final victory” (Saliba, Lwiis, the teaching of the Buddha 24/4).
Patience is a virtue praised by most messengers. In the Gospel we read: “He who holds out (remains patient) until the end will be saved” (Matthew 10:22). Let us note the similarity between this statement of Jesus and that of the Buddha mentioned above.
In the Quran: {Only the patient will receive their reward without counting} (Al-Zamar 39/10). And also: {O you who believe, seek the help of patience and prayer, God is with the patient} (Al-Baqarah 2/153).
Patience with emotions means not giving up trying to control them and repeating this attempt, in order to be able to control them and organize them so that they manifest themselves in a positive way, which of course requires practice, training and a very high level of self-awareness.
Emotions are often wind the result of physiological and neurological changes that control a person’s thinking and behavior. Some people may sometimes have unstable and uncontrollable emotions.
The causes of this emotional or sentimental instability are multiple, ranging from hormonal changes to stress and mental disorders. The most common causes are:
1- Hormonal changes
The first cause of emotional instability is hormonal change. Women often experience it during pregnancy, menstruation and menopause, due to changes in estrogen levels, a hormone related to mood.
In addition to estrogen, there are other hormones that control emotions, such as adrenaline, dopamine, noradrenaline, cortisol and others, all of which affect emotions.
2- Lack of sleep
Lack of sleep leads to feelings of tiredness and exhaustion as well as depression, which makes a person sensitive and more prone to irritability from others; this is because lack of sleep affects the balance of brain chemistry, which is related to mood and emotions.
3- Poor diet
An unhealthy diet (fast food, starchy foods, flavors and foods high in sugar) affects the instability of feelings and emotions and makes the person more moody and irritable.
4- Psychological disorders
Psychological disorders such as depression, which results in a state of extreme sadness, or bipolar disorder are common causes of uncontrollable emotions, which result in abrupt and sudden mood changes.
5- Stress and fatigue
Stress can lead to irritability and difficulty controlling strong emotions such as sadness and anger which is often considered a momentary madness. Stress can be caused by work or family pressures or by economic and other problems.
6- Various diseases
In some cases, a person may suffer from health problems that affect their feelings and emotions, such as a stroke, concussion or dementia, and some chronic diseases such as thyroid disease or diabetes can cause mood swings and emotional instability.
Anger, sadness, joy and fear are natural and instinctive reactions to events in our lives, but these emotions can be excessive or inappropriate.
Most of us get angry, but if we do not control our feelings of anger this momentary madness, it can cause us a lot of harm. It is therefore important to know how to control these emotions, so that they can be channeled in a more positive way.
This will be the topic of our next conference, in which we will develop the vision and advice of spiritual psychology in this area through ten commandments for the control of emotions taken from the teachings of yoga and its great sages.